Egregious time for publicans to say goodbye

JP was our Toastmaster of the evening, who did an exceptional job of bringing the programme together when others were absent.

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Kenneth read a bard tonight of an XKCD post on Burning Pollen. The speech was delivered in great style and was scientifically hilarious, with magic language like “our cars are always oxidizing; we just try to keep it from happening suddenly”. Excellent.

Tonight’s Grammarian was David, who fronted with the extremely challenging word Egregious and definition “Outstandingly bad; shocking”. A great presentation and great word for the evening, which actually ‘got the better’ of one or two people!

“Time to say goodbye” was Kathy’s 6th CC speech and a real hum-dinger! Centred around her ‘personal experiences’ in the funeral industry, Kathy dominated this entertaining speech right from her processional slow-walk up to the lecturn! We heard about Crematorium Christmas Parties, fun prank calls for funeral directors, mis-spellings of legal jargon and even a story about a priest who had to thumb a lift to a service! ‘Who wasn’t entertained by Kathy’s speech tonight?’ began evaluator Gary tonight. A truly memorable 6th speech! Congratulations Kathy!

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Our next speech for the evening was from Tim, titled “Persecuted publicans”. With the objective to retell someone else’s story, Tim set about telling the tale of a past Greymouth Police Inspector and the comical events surrounding his regime against after-hours drinking in West Coast pubs. Dressed in traditional West Coast attire of Swandri & boots, Tim’s speech-to-entertain was well received by all with plenty of laughs.

Dave B lead a great True / False tabletopics sitting based on the topic of food.

Newcomer Lionel did a magnificent job of fooling the audience into thinking his favourite food is meat. Visiting from Perth, Lionel said “New Zealand is the land of meat! I’m in heaven” – little did we know that Lionel is a vegetarian!

220px-Pythagoras_Tree_ColoredKenneth’s strangest food ever eaten was broccoli! He explained that the strangeness stemmed from the vegetable’s likeness to a pythagoras tree fractal pattern. Of course, Kenneth was making all of this up – he’s eaten far weirder food before!

Kathy’s most egregious meal was a steak she had when she was a little girl. She tragically struggled with the meal for over 30 minutes before her mother let her leave the table, which was unfortunate because the cut of meat had come from her grandfather’s butchery!

Gary’s most memorable meal was an incredible tale of glass repairs, a fallen tool, an enormous vat of biscuit mix and a lot of licking. And it was mostly true too! He actually lost his builders square in a vat of biscuit mix!

Finally, Janet wrapped it up with a tale of pirahna fishing from canoes in the amazon! There were toothy palm-oil grubs which exploded when you ate them and howling monkeys which drunk fire water! But best of all, this story was true! Incredible!

See you all next time!